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Moved

Ive completely moved my blog to rubydat98.tumblr.com
But i wanted to post one last blog, because no other place would accept my video.

When you love someone so much, how can you possibly walk away. The days and nights i wish i can extend, but i cant. I cant sleep, cant think, feel so lost since this past week and ive only been yearning for attention from me. Weird. I find myself praying in my dreams about him. I wake up the min the sun rises with him on my mind. Ive been falling asleep at 3 and waking up at 6 and its continuous when is it going to get easier? if someone told me id be affected this way id say they were lying, my heart feels like when you're on a rollercoaster and your anticipating the first drop and the minute you fall you feel like your heart is in your throat. Well that's exactly how i feel, i breathe and i feel like a 300 pound man is sitting on my stomach, and when i start crying i realize i could provide enough water to give the homeless lol. Leave it to me to try to find some joke out of this situation. The only thing i can say is i understand, his happiness always came before mine and that's how it will always be. If me not being around creates a better world for him then i want him to take it because i will always put him before my own, and i will always want him to be happy even if its not with me. But on another note i still hope my prayers&dreams come true. One day at least.

The Wind i Cant resist

As the sun lowered the wind became strong
it seeped through my window had me cuddling with my covers.
I laid my head on the pillow and could hear my heart; slow, smooth steady beat, and as the wind blew harder and hit my window pane i became faint.
Now my heart is racing, im not scared im terrified.
The same cool breeze that runs through my hair is at this moment something i feared.
I loved the touch of the wind so much when the sun is out but now it's the touch of the wind i resent.
How could i allow it to scare me,hurt me, feel me up, then spit me out like nothing.
This wind wasnt my lover or friend today. Tonight he was my enemy.
I reached for my comforter and it almost kept me warm until the wind crept up under the sides.
Now im wrestling with the words of the wind trying to find warmth.
I hate this wind right now why isnt it just keeping me safe watching me through my window.
Wind why are you hurting me, i embrace you all the time?
Wind why are you doing this to me, when no one else is there i stand by your side.
Wind you told me you loved me why are such harmful things coming out your mouth.
That morning i fell asleep, not under my covers, not in my bed, but in a block of ice on the floor cause the wind left me for dead.
The wind changed direction and the sun cause me to melt, but its my jacket i wear incase this wind comes again.
That wind will always be my love and I'll fight till the end



Danielle <3

Push By Sapphire

If you're going to see the movie "precious" i do think you should also read the book, to see if the movie truly captures every incident in the book. Reading the book I really must say is intense, Sapphire definitely used her imagination in that book, i call the way she spells out how "clarieece precious Jones" speaks "phonetically written" ex: Father= Fahver. You do see change in her language in the middle of the book due to her doing well in school. Clarieece bka Precious definitely has detrimental experiences in the book as well as the other characters portrayed. I recommend people who have a library card to either take it out from the dusty box under the beds, or pay off all your late fees and take out that book LOL.

How much I hate APPLYING to College

Applying to college has to be the most annoying thing in the world. I thought getting a job was hard for a teenager, but applying to college is difficult as well. Why are we paying so much for application fees if there is a chance for us to get rejected. I aspire to go to Suny Buffalo and I want to be a pharmacist but my guidance counselor says it is hard to get into. I don't think anybody should shut down your dreams, if you know you are applicable of getting in and you know that you will do your best to succeed then go for it. College is going to be a high point of your life so don't let anybody deter you from your dreams. LOOK FOR SCHOLARSHIPS, and if you have any scholarship advice for me let me know.

Comments =)

updating 2g iphone to 3.1.2

I am going to try blackra1n to update my iphone, i usually use pwnage tool or redsnow so this is different and i hope my phone will unlock perfectly. I definitely felt it was time to make the update. My phone has been going slower ever since i updated to 3.0 it was crazy i couldn't take it i felt that apple was just messing with the iphones to make us have to update it every month. When i updated to 3.1.2 I realized that my battery is longer, and the applications open up faster. So if you have an iphone 2g go for it and use Blackra1n!

Jobs

It's the hardest thing finding a job at this moment, i awaited my 16th birthday just to be able to get a job now I've been looking for almost a year and till no luck, I even tried to get internships, I'm doing and have done volunteer it really can not be this hard. It's so frustrating going through the application process hoping that you get an interview and nobody calls back. I'm tired of searching for a job why doesnt a job come find me lol. Yea that's never going to happen, when am i going to quit i have too much dedication to this i should have quit a long time ago, but i still prevail with my spirits held high hoping I'm going to get a job sooner or later, so i can pay for all the expenses of my senior year. If anyone wants to hire me in nyc Lol Let me know! seriously though!